just some funny quotes



"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." - Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." - Jim Carrey
"Poloticants and diapers have one thing in common. they should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason." - José Maria de Eca de Queiroz
"Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong." - Unknown
"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." - Brian Gerald O'Driscoll
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes." - Albert Einstein
"I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it." - Unknown
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments." - Earl Wilson
"If evolution is fact, why do mothers only have two hands?" - Milton Berle
"We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police." - Unknown
"My mother never saw the irony of calling me a son-of-a-bitch." - Jack Nicholons
"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research." - Wilson Mizner
"Three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere: 'Hold my purse.'" - Unknown
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." - Emo Philips
"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that i am right." - Ashleigh Brilliant
"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq." - Dennis miller
"God gave us our relatives; thank god we can choose our friends." - Ethel Mumford
"If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days." - Robin Williams
"Money can't buy love, but it improves you bargaining position." - Christopher Marlowe
"Dogs have masters. Cats have staff." - Unknown
"Make yourself at home... clean my kitchen." - unknwon


Greetz, legit

Now that we are at quotes.. although it's not funny, i still love it:

"Sometimes you have to be really high, to see how small you are, i'm going home now." - Felix Baumgartner(before his jump)


I think we all know what jump i'm talking about